The Screaming Eagle
Thanks John DeMarino.
Stuff You Need to Know
Amazon (AMZN) – They beat estimates, but lowered guidance. I was right. The Grinch stole Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween, and is under investigation for kidnapping the Easter Bunny.
Wachovia (WB) – Wachovia’s loss of $24 billion exceeds the GDP of Uruguay.
Potash (POT) – Beats estimates by 36 cents! Yet the stock is only up 3% in pre market trading. The stock is down 70% in a year, they crush the number, and they don’t get rewarded for it. Oy Vey.
Stuff You Want to Know, But Your Broker Won’t Tell You
Nasdaq – The Exchange has applied to the SEC for permission to suspend the rule establishing a $1 minimum bid price and the market value requirements for continued listing. Does this give you an idea of where the market is heading?
“Breaking News” – Is there any stock quote or financial statistic that’s being broadcast that isn’t amazing?
Statements – You thought your September 401-k statement looked bad? Wait until you get you October statement. September’s going to look like “It’s A Wonderful Life” compared to October.
Heartburn – I’m a size buyer of Zegerid. Asset reflux is giving me acid reflux.
Capital Infusions – The Treasury last week provided $125 Billion for big banks to lend to customers, including $10 billion to Morgan Stanley. Morgan Stanley has accrued $10.7 billion of employee compensation expense, almost twice as much as its pretax earnings. The vast majority of this remuneration hasn’t been paid yet. Now I feel like I’m going to pay their bonuses.
Rating Agencies – Instant message exchange between raters said “It could be structured by cows and we would rate it.” This is very disrespectful of cows.
Thoughts of the Day
Stimulus Plan – Who needs a stimulus plan? Oil is at $66. So gasoline is down, assuming you have a job to drive to. Interest rates have been cut, assuming you can borrow money. Houses are cheaper to buy, assuming you can buy one. And the stronger dollar is making overseas traveling cheaper, assuming you can afford a vacation.
Afghanistan – An Afghan student who asked about women’s rights had his death sentence revoked but received a 20-year jail term. Some guys ask women to marry them and receive the same sentence.